The way I started working because I couldn't like what was inside me

I am a photographer, video editor, model, and also work as a reporter.

The reason I decided to do it was, first of all, there was a time when I couldn't like myself, so I thought I'd start by liking my appearance. It was a rather simplistic idea. I recruited photographers on SNS and, while receiving advice from various people, I began to think, 'Maybe it's fun to get my picture taken,' as I learned things like 'It's good to shoot from this angle' and 'This pose makes you look pretty.' The next step was to apply for various modeling jobs, and thankfully, I started getting more requests. While talking to various clients, I realized that someone who can do photography, modeling, and editing would be the most appreciated by clients. So, I thought, 'Let's become that,' and now I mainly work as a creator.

It was a shooting for a promotional video of a cosmetic product. Until then, I thought modeling was a very glamorous world with photographers, sparkling lights, and sparkling makeup. But the content was very mundane, just opening and closing a lid, picking up a bottle, and that's it, a very inorganic job. In a good way, it left a very deep impression on me that even a mundane person like me could do it, and it gave me confidence. The photographers and clients I worked with were really nice people, and they gave me a lot of advice. I think that was a really good start.

Generally speaking, I get up around 8 a.m., get ready, and head to the studio I have reserved. I prepare, carrying two cameras, three iPhones, four chargers, three tripods, an LED light, and a tripod for the LED light. With all this luggage, I go to the studio alone, feeling like I might cry. I enter the studio and say, 'Thank you for today, I will be using this for video shooting, excuse me.' Then, I'm alone again, setting up the tripod, standing in front of the camera on the tripod, bringing in the product, using the product, and creating a PV. Once I have the material, which takes about 5 hours, and the final product is a 30-second to 1-minute video, when I tell people who have nothing to do with video, they say, 'You shoot for 5 hours and end up with 30 seconds?' But that's the world I'm in.

Video editing. Selecting the BGM might be the most nerve-wracking. I really like sound matching, like switching the video at the 'cha-ching' part of the BGM. I really love that kind of work. But for me, I think, 'I want to show this scene a little longer,' so if I switch the screen here in the BGM, I can't use this scene, which is a waste, but if I don't switch the screen here, it's rhythmically off, and when I start thinking about that, video editing never ends. So, it's fun, but the most mentally demanding part is probably video editing.

When I received a request to create a promotional video for a Pilates gym, I spent about 30 minutes shooting the scene where I, as a customer, open the door and say, 'Hello, nice to meet you.' It's just opening the door and entering, but I'm the type who cares a lot about whether I should say hello while opening the door, or after closing it, or which one looks the most beautiful. So, it's quite surprising when I say that it takes 30 minutes just for the scene of opening the door and saying hello. I think it's because I tend to be too particular. Also, when I receive requests for treatment scenes or esthetics, which happens quite often, when I'm modeling for a facial treatment scene, I often set up cameras in three directions to capture my face from three angles. But then I think, 'Maybe this isn't the best angle, this one is better,' and I retake it many times. When you watch a video, you might swipe vertically for maybe just 1 second, but as someone who creates videos, I want to tell people that for that 0.5 second, I set up three cameras and retook it many times.

At first, I was just using auto-shoot, but I thought I should improve my photography skills to gain more confidence and get more work, and most importantly, to make this job better. So, I read various articles by photographers, for example, on note or various blog articles, about 'when to use this camera lens' or 'when it's better to use this lens' or 'the relationship with the background,' and I studied photography quite a bit. As for videography and video editing, when I watch TV commercials, I can see how much the professionals struggle and how well the final product turns out. I haven't apprenticed under a specific person, but by watching high-quality content called and practicing it in my work, and when something doesn't go well, I investigate the cause again, and I've been able to accumulate this in my work, which I'm really grateful for.

Work is about 4, and life is about 6, so I'm really laid back with my work, which I'm really grateful for. When I was just starting out, there was a long period when I had no work and had to apply for jobs myself, saying, 'Please let me work,' but now, thankfully, I get so much work from people who, I don't know where they heard about me, that I can say, 'Please wait, I have too many projects during this period.' But there was a time when I was really trying to increase my track record, so I took on about three jobs a day, but that's why I'm where I am now. However, I started to feel like I might break down, so I thought, 'Uh-oh,' and now I've decided to do only one shoot a day, so I'm pampering myself now.

Being able to wear clothes, eat food, and have a place to live, even if it's a rental, all that money comes from other people. So, I absolutely can't live on my own, and I can't receive money without interacting with others, so in that sense, I have nothing but words of gratitude for my clients. It's hard to explain, but in the end, the results of my hard work turn into money that comes to me, but I'm absolutely not just receiving money; I'm receiving warm feelings and joyful gratitude along with the money. So, it might sound like a platitude, but I don't work just for money. When a client says, 'Thank you, really,' I'm not thinking about money at all; I'm thinking, 'I'm glad I got this request' and 'I'm glad I met this person,' so at that moment, money is probably just a bonus for me, but money is indispensable for living, so I have to work, and when I'm asked what money is, I get stuck for words. I wonder what I should say. But I do like money.

I didn't want to make work the center of my life, so I became a freelancer. When I was a company employee, it was normal to work from Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, and if I worked overtime, it was 8 or 9, and I thought that was normal, but when I quit the company and started working freely, I'm really grateful that I can still make a living, but I've been able to do that, so life is really fun. I'm really happy to be able to get out of the concept of having to do the same thing at the same time every week, but I like work, so even though it's not the center, I absolutely have to work to live my life, so in that sense, it might be the center, but I absolutely don't want to think about work all the time. As I said, it's 4:6, so I think life is probably the majority, so I don't think it's the center.

I think this is connected to why I started this job. I used to hate myself so much that it was really hard to live my life. It was because of that time that I was able to do this job, so I think I'm working not to earn money to live, but to live a comfortable life.

I'm getting old, so probably now it's products for people in their 20s. In the market, there are probably a lot of products for people in their 20s and also for moms, but I wonder if there will be people who will give me modeling jobs when I'm 40, 50, or 60. I'm a little worried, but when I hear from advertising agencies, they say that while there are a lot of 20-something women who want to be models, they need just as many seniors, so they want senior models. So, I might be able to do it, and with AI, you can change your face for any amount of money now, so I might be able to find a way out in that regard too.

It's true that there are many girls who want to be models, and if I had to choose, I wouldn't want to be one. When I was a child, I vaguely thought, 'Celebrities are cool' or 'That girl is cute' or 'I want to be an idol,' and now for some reason I'm doing this job, but it's not a glamorous world at all; it's really mundane, repeating the same actions, and when you see the behind-the-scenes, it's not glamorous at all to stand in front of a camera or create something; it really requires monotonous things. So, if you aim for this job thinking it's a glamorous and splendid occupation, you might be disappointed by the gap. For example, if you appear in several TV commercials, you might have a glamorous life, but even those people might be doing the same thing I'm doing now, repeating the same actions for hours, like putting a single potato chip in their mouth. So, I don't think it's good to have excessive expectations when aiming for this occupation. If you are aiming to be a model, be prepared to experience 'My face is so ugly' many times.